Yesterday’s blog post was a bit towards the deeper end of the scale of things I usually write about here on my blog. So today I thought I’d take a look at something different.
It is a good thing to be serious at times. In fact I highly recommend it, but there comes a time in everyones life that they should at least give the “other end” of the “serious scale” an audience as well.
And so I present you with this list of fool proof ways to decrease your productivity level. If you are interested in actually increasing your productivity level try the exact opposite of these ideas.
You know how productive your mobile phone has made you? Now not only can you work from your computer but you can work from your phone too. You should get a tablet as well. It’s best if your new tablet can almost do everything you would normally do on your computer. More devices make you more productive. Always.
Be sure to always have YouTube open at your work computer. You will definitely need it throughout the day anyway. You might as well start the morning with a cat video or two. If you can’t sacrifice the screen real estate to have the video full screen just put it over in a corner.
You know that side project you’ve been wanting to work on. Since you have a big project due tomorrow at work you should probably spend half your night working on your side project. You’re still basically a teenager… You don’t need sleep to be able to perform well at work.
Whether you are a male or a female you can multitask. The best way to be sure to use your time wisely is to do two things at once. It’s basically like a dual or quad core computer processor, more things at once makes you faster. My favorite two things to do simultaneously are listening to a technical podcast while writing code. I can often implement what I’m learning about into my work project.
Don’t make lists. Lists are for people who don’t have good memory. Seriously, Google Keep is for wimps. Besides if you can’t remember that you need to do something you probably don’t really need to do it anyway.
Never have meetings, especially not with your clients. It’s always best to just make or do what you think the client wants based off of pre contract signing calls. They will be surprised and likely thrilled that you built them a widget that has more functionality than they were originally looking for. Sure they might not like the fact that it doesn’t do the one thing they needed it to, but hey they shouldn’t be so picky.
While you are working on your phone or tablet you should always use the on screen keyboard. From my experience having a real mobile keyboard isn’t helpful at all. There is no way that you’ll be able to type faster or more accurately with a physical keyboard.
You’ve heard of hustling. It’s the in thing to do these days. To be more productive you should hustle 24/7, and by that I mean that if you aren’t sleeping you should be working. It’s pretty simple really. Resting, sleeping and vacations won’t make you more productive.
A messy desk simply means that you’ll be able to find that little thing on your desk when you need it. Having things decently organized never helped anyone find what they were looking for or keep things in order.
And those my friends are nine simple things you should consider when trying to be less productive.
Hope you have a very productive day!
P.S. In case it wasn’t clear, all of these points are rather ridiculous. There may be a grain of truth in a couple of them but the majority of them are simply not good ways to get things done. At least in my opinion. Like I said above, try doing the exact opposite.